How do you find the words you need when there is nothing that can be said to make things better, right, justified, or comprehensible? It’s impossible to put into words what the last eight days have been like, but somehow after 18 years with Lindsay I found a new level of love I didn't know existed or thought possible--which makes this update all that much harder to share.
I am heartbroken to say that Lindsay passed away this morning with her brother, Eric, and me by her side. She fought so hard during her battle with cancer, and that fight continued this past week until she finally found her necessary peace and comfort. I held Lindsay’s hand as she took her last breaths and without any perceived pain she decided it was time to go. Somehow I am comforted in knowing she chose this moment--with our hands locked--that she no longer needed to be in pain. She knew Arya, Ellis, and I would be okay and that we would have unconditional love and support from family and friends to help us navigate this emotional time.
It was the shitty perfect ending to the most beautiful life and person imaginable.
Lindsay was surrounded by love this past week with visits from our immediate family and dear friends, and I shared with her your countless messages of love and support. The number of people Lindsay has touched and impacted is magical and inspiring. Stories from teachers she inspired, to messages of love from lifelong friends, to a spirited Facebook group full of care and support, to random strangers who happened upon this blog and were touched by Lindsay’s zeal for life, and to family and friends showing everlasting love--Lindsay touched us all and her love and light will forever live within us.
Further thoughts, emotions, stories, and information will certainly follow (as will plans and resources to communally remember and celebrate Lindsay; thank you for your patience). I love you all and so appreciate your continued love and support for our family.
Chris I am equally moved by your writing as I was with Lindsay’s. The love you share reminds me of how I feel about my own love of my life. Mine is still here but I’ve always had an irrational fear of losing her to something like this. It was never this way with others and every time I read these entries it takes me right to this place where I think about my Uyen. I’m sure you have a million friends and family to help you share in life but I always want to extend to you a warm welcome to my friends and family. If you ever find the urge to do something different either with your kids…